Let me just start off by saying before writing this article I sought out opinions from fellow mom’s on a mom focused Facebook group with over 33,000 members.  I got an overwhelming response, with replies still flowing in and noticed a trend on what they REALLY want for Mother’s Day.  Quite simply, we don’t want to “mom”!

It’s not that we don’t love our families, it’s just that we are mother’s 24/7, 365, so a day off truly is the greatest gift you can give us.  Let’s think about what being a mom looks like.  We wake up, and immediately we are worried about everyone else but ourselves.  We jump out of bed, start making breakfast (for everyone but ourselves), packing lunches, get everyone ready and clean.    We‘re lucky to brush our teeth and put clean clothes on for ourselves before we rush out the door to make sure that our kids get to school on time.  Some of us go to work right after, or go and care for our younger children, some go home and clean for hours and get groceries, etc.  There is never enough time in a day to finish all the tasks we have as mom’s.  Before we know it, we pick up the kids, rush them over to their after school activities, rush home, make dinner, since everyone is starving, do homework, get everyone ready for bed then clean up the huge mess that was made throughout the day.  And we do all of this for at least 18 years, for free….being a mom is not only exhausting; it’s the most selfless job in the world.

So here’s what mom really wants this year, so take notes dad’s:

A DAY OFF: THIS WAS THE NUMBER 1 REQUEST BY MOM’S ACROSS THE BOARD.  I understand that giving mom the day off on Mother’s Day might not work.  It would be really hard to tell the kids, “hey, mom wants a day away from you on Mother’s Day because you’re a little jerk that doesn’t clean up after yourself or leave her the fuck alone”!! So to spare the kids the heartbreak that mom wants space, let’s get creative here and maybe give mom Friday or Saturday off before Mother’s Day.  Send the kids to their grandparent’s house for the day/night or if no grandparents live nearby send her to a hotel for a night.  Let her sleep alone in a big bed, watch her favorite shows, sleep in and get room service (if she’s home, cook her a meal then CLEAN UP THE MESS AFTER)!  Alone time is so rare once you become a mom, that it’s no wonder that it’s the most requested gift that moms are yearning for!

A GIFT FROM THE KIDS: Nope, I didn’t say flowers from the kids.  They die, and honestly we don’t need another life to take care of…if you want to give a physical gift with meaning, something that was made by the kids is always appreciated by mom’s. Find the time to make a secret project, take the kid(s) to the park, take some photos and create something cute, or make a card, just make sure it’s a surprise!  She’ll be thrilled that you took the time to create something special with the kid(s) for her. Or another great gift option is something that represents your child, like jewelry with their initials, their birthstone or birthdate on it.

APPRECIATION: This is the perfect day for everyone to show their appreciation.  Having everyone let mom know how much she is loved and appreciated and how you, of course, couldn’t live without her!  A little appreciation goes a long way on Mother’s Day.

At the end of the day there is no break from being a mom.  If you aren’t with your kids, you are somewhere worrying about them.  You wonder how you will pay for college (or if you live in LA or NYC, how you will pay for Pre-school), you wonder if they’re making friends at school, you wonder if your feeding them the best organic food, you wonder if letting them sleep in your bed to selfishly get those extra cuddles is the right thing to do, you wonder if your choices are completely going to screw them up for the rest of their lives!

Bottom line: there are no breaks from being a mom and we could all use a little time to sit back and relax without anyone demanding something from us – like always being perfect…because we’re not perfect, we’re human and like all humans we need a break too! And even when we look like we have it all together we sometimes feel like we’re falling apart and we need a little time to put ourselves back together again.