SEX ME UP? HELL, JUST KNOCK ME UP.

“When is it going to be your turn to have a baby?” your auntie asks at your cousin’s fourth baby shower. The correct answer is: A. When I can smash this diaper-shaped puff pastry in your face B. When everyone stops stressing me the f* out about getting pregnant C. None of your business, you smug… Read more »

YOUR KIDS SCARE THE CRAP OUT OF ME

Is the word scared a bit dramatic? Maybe. But it’s not wrong. I’ve always had an awkward relationship with children. I was never a natural babysitter and despite years of ballet training, I was never drawn to teaching 3-year-olds how to plie. I vividly remember my last babysitting gig. I was 12 years old and… Read more »

THIS IS MOTHERING

“Enjoy every minute,” I heard over and over again when my son was a newborn. “It goes by so fast,” older women in the grocery store checkout lines confided. But it didn’t feel like it was going by quickly at all. It felt like I’d been ripped out of my old life and plunked down… Read more »