After you have a baby, your life changes dramatically. Sometimes, it changes in amazing ways. Other times, you might find yourself struggling with what your new life looks like. If your sex life has virtually disappeared, you may find yourself wondering whether or not you and your husband are ever going to get back to normal. Here’s the good news: you can still have a great sex life after baby!
Tip #1: Get Creative About Timing
If you’re falling into bed every night exhausted and sex is the last thing on your mind, you’re not alone! Instead of missing out on some quality time between the sheets, get creative about your timing. For example:
-Set your alarm an hour earlier in the morning and have sex before your baby wakes up. Baby was up all night? You can always hit that snooze button.
-Climb into the shower and soap up together for some fun sexy times.
-Sneak away together in the middle of the day–perhaps for a slightly extended lunch break.
-Creativity is the name of the game when you have a little one–and not just with regards to timing, either.
Tip #2: Change Locations
Are you still room-sharing with your little one? If they’re a light sleeper or either of you is nervous about baby watching–even though, trust us, they’ll never remember it later!–take your sex life out of the bedroom and try a new location instead.
-Pile up some blankets in front of the fireplace. Don’t forget to add pillows for maximum comfort!
-Check out your kitchen countertops. You may find that they’re just the right height!
-Enjoy the ottoman in the living room.
While not every location will end up turning you on, you’ll discover that there are plenty of fun ways you and your spouse can enjoy one another outside of the bedroom. As an added bonus, it might well bring a fun smile to your face every time you walk by that part of the house for a few days.
Tip #3: Enlist Help
You don’t have to tell your sassy Aunt Margaret that you need to sneak away and have sex with your husband to get her to babysit. Just saying that you’re ready for a date night is often enough to have relatives coming out of the woodwork, eager to get in some baby snuggles. No one has to know that your “date night” consisted of takeout and a sweaty session between the sheets!
Tip #4: Talk It Out
Are you missing out on sex because you’re constantly exhausted? Do you find that your To Do list is so long that you simply never have time to sit and enjoy your spouse? Take the time to talk it out with your partner and discuss what it is that’s standing in the way of sexy time together. In many cases, you’ll discover that he’s more than willing to wash a few dishes or run the vacuum cleaner if it means that you’ll be up for some quality time later!
Tip #5: Schedule Sex
Yes, scheduling sex sounds like a drag. As your family grows, however, you’ll find that it’s often a struggle to remember to fit in quality time with your spouse. Write sex into your schedule, whether it’s a middle of the afternoon date when baby is at daycare (or, for that matter, when they regularly take a several-hour nap) or a specific evening that you’re going to set aside for your spouse in spite of all of your other responsibilities. When it’s on your schedule, you’ll be more likely to make the time.
Tip #6: Daydream Throughout the Day
Right now, your daydreams are probably wrapped up around heading off to a deserted island or a hotel room for several hours of uninterrupted sleep. While that might not be in the cards, spend some time during the day daydreaming about your husband. Imagine what you’d like to do together. Exchange some hot text messages throughout the day. You’ll quickly discover that when you let your imagination soar, you’ll be more eager to set aside your other responsibilities once baby is in bed and jump between the sheets with your spouse as soon as possible.
Tip #7: Take It Slow
If your baby is still very young, chances are, your body hasn’t completely bounced back from pregnancy and childbirth yet. Breastfeeding can also wreak hormonal havoc on your entire system. When you do make it into bed with your husband, make sure you take it slow and use plenty of lube. Communicate with him about what feels good and what you’re not quite ready for yet. Patience is the name of the game at this stage of your relationship. As a reward for your efforts, you’ll discover that good sex begets good sex: the more often you enjoy yourself, the more responsive your body will be the next time he reaches for you.
Recapturing your sex life after baby can be a challenge, but it’s one that’s well worth it! Try out these tips to help reclaim your sex life and discover that yes, you are still one hot mama!