If there has been one question playing over and over in my mind since the beginning of the new year it’s this:
WHY ARE WE THE LAST PEOPLE TO SAVE OURSELVES?!
I had a friend call me the other day in tears because she was so upset about a job that she was heading too. Luckily she had me and all of my wonderful advice to help calm her down and realize what her options were.
“Quit. I will help you figure out the next steps to take. You are not happy there. Stop returning to a place that is continuously making you feel so upset.”
That’s when it hit me. I never listen to my own fucking advice. I am a hypocrite.
Let me give you some backstory.
A few weeks ago my husband said something that caused my PMS-ing hormones to explode in my body, which then led to a very lengthy, typed up letter and part of it went something like this:
I get it – you don’t fully understand why I’m upset so I feel I need to explain just how much of a hell these last two years have been for me at this job.
For over two years I have dealt with people who literally treat me like my life outside of my job has no meaning. Whatever I did outside of that house did not matter. My relationship with you did not matter. My career did not matter. I did not matter. Occasionally, they make it seem like I matter just enough to keep me there, to make me feel like it’s not as horrible as I make it out to be.
The thing that is the most difficult to acknowledge about my situation is knowing that every day I have to get up and work x amount of hours at a job that makes me feel like the worst version of myself. I am doing things I don’t enjoy. I am spending time with people who don’t appreciate all that I do for them. I am never home. I mean, seriously. When was the last time I saw you on a weeknight and we were able to have dinner together?
I go to work Monday through Friday never knowing when I will actually be done working for the day. That is sickening. What have I allowed myself to get into?”
What I’m trying to say is, why the FUCK am I not listening to my own advice? How are we so quick and ready to unload enlightenment on our friends and family when they are in need but when it comes time to enlightening ourselves we clam up and say no so often? Guess what would happen if I quit my job? I would be a happier human being. Would there be some stress financially? Sure, for a little bit. Would I have to find another job? Most likely, but at least I’d be more educated in what I wanted out of my work situation and would be able to protect myself from getting into something like this again.
It is so easy for us to dish out advice to everyone else around us. Why is it so difficult for us to do the same for ourselves? Think about that.
So, here’s some advice for you – say “yes” to yourself more often.
Should I quit this job that is making me miserable? YES.
Should I go on this trip to Europe that I’ve been dying to take but am too scared to commit to? YES.
Should I go to the gym this afternoon even though I’m tired? YES.
Should I eat this pizza for dinner and not feel guilty about it tomorrow? YES.
Is it OK to hire a babysitter for the afternoon so I can get my nails done and give myself a couple hours of me time? GIRL, YES.
There is nothing wrong with listening to your own advice. And I didn’t realize that until today. So if I’m going to try it out, we all should try it out.